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homsan toft ([personal profile] tofsla_fic) wrote2014-02-21 11:27 am

Untitled (Seiran, Ryuuki)

Saiunkoku Monogatari, Seiran - Ryuuki, G
360 words
Continuation of a scene in episode 21.

“Let me walk beside you a while longer,” Ryuuki says, almost runs to catch up, as though Seiran might try to escape him. Always the one chasing after, always the one who needs - hardly fitting for an emperor, but with Seien-- with Seiran, late at night and all alone, he doesn’t want to be anything except a boy who is scared of the dark, who misses his brother. “I won’t be able to see you for a while, aniue.”

“Hm,” Seiran agrees, doesn’t comment on the form of address, lets Ryuuki keep pace beside him. Ryuuki doesn’t mean to sound desperate, but he must’ve, from the look in Seiran’s eyes as he glances down at him - and that one look is too much, pulls him up short, makes him forget all the years that have passed and stumble forwards to throw his arms around his brother. The emperor knows what has to be done and does it, but sometimes Ryuuki wants to just be selfish, to cling to everything which is important - everyone who is important. He has far too much sense to do it, but sometimes he can pretend.

There’s a moment of hesitation, and then Seien slips his arms around him in return, comforting and familiar, even though neither of them are children any more. “Aniue,” Ryuuki breathes, turns his face up towards Seien’s almost without thinking, hesitates. They’re close enough to share breath. He can smell the sake that Seien has been drinking, can smell Seien. Just a little closer, a line he knows shouldn’t be crossed but...

But I want to, the selfish little voice whispers in his mind, and it takes all his self-control just to stop, drop his head to rest on Seien’s shoulder instead. The flicker of disappointment he thinks he sees at the last moment in Seien’s eyes can only have been wishful thinking on his part. But it’s enough, he decides - to be held like this and just be Ryuuki for a few minutes, to let himself think of the man holding him as Seien, his brother, not Seiran the bodyguard.

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